A middle-aged man in a suit, BOHR, 44, walks toward a bench in a broad lobby. He sets his suitcase down and sits on the bench.
Moments later, an older man in a suit, SERUG, 56, walks toward that same bench and sits down right next to Bohr. The awkwardness is palpable.
Bohr looks up and gives him the evil eye. Serug smiles in response.
Serug: Good Morning.
Bohr: Is it?
There is a moment of silence. Serug tries to start another conversation.
Serug: Great game last night.
Bohr: What game? Who played?
Serug: Never mind.
Bohr: Would you please go find another bench?
Serug: You seem like a smart man, I can tell it just from looking at you. I have a sense about people and I’m never wrong.
Bohr finally shuffles awkwardly away from Serug.
Bohr: What’s your game?
Serug: I thought you said you didn’t watch the game.
Bohr: I mean, what are you selling?
Serug: Funny you should ask. I’m selling something that you might appreciate! I’m selling thyme.
Bohr looks stunned.
Bohr: That’s impossible. You can’t sell time.
Serug smiles serenely.
Serug: I assure you it is quite possible. People always say I bring them the best thyme that they’ve ever had.
Bohr: Prove it!
Serug: There you are. Best in the universe!
Serug opens his briefcase and brings out a small jar of thyme.
Bohr: Oh thyme! I thought you meant time.
Serug: Yes, thyme. That’s what I said.
Bohr: No, not thyme, time! Like tick-tock-tick-tock? Time!
Serug: No one can sell that kind of time.
Bohr: (mutters to himself) That’s what you think!
Serug: Yes, that is what I think. Are you going to tell me I’m wrong?
Bohr: I’m not going to tell you anything, because this conversation is over.
Serug: Yes, that’s what I thought you’d do. I didn’t think any time merchant would give himself away so easily.
Bohr: I’m not a time merchant. I was just sitting here minding my own business.
Serug: Yes, and what IS your business?
Bohr: It’s none of your business! But I will tell you one thing, I’m not a time merchant.
Serug stands up and throws down his jar of thyme. He looks triumphant!
Serug: I knew it! That’s exactly what a real time merchant would say!
Bohr: A real time merchant would say he wasn’t one? You’re crazy.
Serug: I knew you were a time merchant! I could tell it just from looking at you. I have a sense about people. I’m never wrong.
Bohr: Stop yelling!
Serug jumps up on the bench.
Serug: (yelling) I’ll shout all about it unless you tell me your name!
Bohr stands and slowly guides Serug down from the bench.
Bohr: (whispering) Fine! I’m Pauli Bohr.
Serug: (still yelling) And what do you do, Mr. Bohr?
Bohr looks all around. They are completely alone. Bohr nods toward the shattered jar of thyme which reassembles itself and leaps back into Bohr’s open hand.
Bohr: Yes, I’m a time merchant. (He offers Serug the whole jar back.) What kind do you want?
Serug shoves the jar of thyme aside and it shatters again.
Serug: Sell me some? No, no. I want in on the business.
Bohr: (laughs) Sorry, that’s not how it works.
Serug: I know exactly how the business works, I’ve been studying up on time dilation, Einsteinian physics, the harnessing of the neutrino!
Bohr: That’s just book knowledge. That stuff won’t help you.
Serug gets right up into Bohr’s face.
Serug: You’re trying to box me out? That’s just like you!
Bohr: We’ve never met.
Serug: I’m sorry, I keep forgetting. What is your name again?
Bohr: Bohr.
Serug: Greetings, I am Serug - father of Nahor, son of Reu, son of Peleg, son of Eber.
Bohr: Whoa, slow down there! I don’t have time for all that.
Without missing a beat Bohr and Serug are in the same suits and positions - only now they have changed place to a window-side bench with an imposing view. But again, they don’t even notice and the conversation continues.
Serug: What do you have time for?
Bohr: Not this.
Serug: What’s in the suitcase, Bohr?
Bohr: It’s full of “None of your business.”
Serug scowls.
Serug: It was just an innocent question since we’ve got so much time on our hands.
Bohr: Yeah, you would like to get your hands on my time!
Serug: There’s plenty of time!
Bohr: No! The more people in the time business the less space. That’s how it works.
Serug: Suit yourself, Mr. Bohr.
Bohr: (points at his suit) I did suit myself. So there. What’s in your suitcase, eh?
Serug: Same thing as yours.
There’s a LOUD RINGING in Bohr’s suitcase. He undoes the latch and grabs out a rotary phone and answers it.
Bohr: Excuse me. It will be a quick call. (He leans over for greater privacy.) Hello?
Without missing a beat Bohr and Serug are in the same suits and positions - only now they have changed place to a dark mall bench. But as before, they don’t notice and the conversation continues.
Bohr: When? ---
Yesterday? Really? -----
Of course! What time? ----
Does the day before yesterday work better for you? ---
Yes? ---
Good, I’ll see you then! ---
Deliverables? Ten and a half. ---
No ---
Yes ---
NO! ---
Alright, we will deliver it last week then. Goodbye!
Bohr hangs up and sits for a second humming to himself.
Without missing a beat Bohr and Serug are in the same suits and positions - only now they have changed back to the bench they started in.
Serug: Who was that?
Bohr: Nice try. Not this time! Mind your own business.
Serug: Ah ha! But pretty soon we’ll be in the same business.
Bohr: Listen, bub. If you think I’m going to let some upstart muscle into my territory, you’ve got another thing coming. Get me?
Bohr gets up, gathers his overcoat and his suitcase, and starts to leave.
Serug: Until next time then...
Bohr throws down his overcoat and his suitcase.
Bohr: There will be no ‘next’ time. In fact, there is no next, all time is one.
Serug: (Sticks out his tongue) Yeah, well, if it’s all one then how can you sell any of it?
Bohr: (becoming very irate) This is why you’ll never make it in the business. You can’t even begin to understand time. How can you ever sell it?
Serug: If I keep up this nonsense with you, I’ll be late for my interview.
Bohr: Late! (laughs) A time merchant is never late. Do you even know what we do?
Serug: I will once I get hired. My interview will be almost over thirty minutes ago.
Bohr: Time is of the essence, you ought to know that!
Without missing a beat Bohr and Serug are in the same suits and positions - only now they have changed place back to the same bright park bench.
Serug: So what’s in your suitcase?
Bohr: Wonderful things… I think.
Serug: You think?
Bohr: I don’t know the combination.
Serug: But, you just opened it!
Bohr: Did I? My brain sometimes gets time lag. I’m remembering the end of this conversation but I’ve forgotten the beginning already.
Serug sighs and shakes his head.
Serug: This interview isn’t going very well for you, Mr. Bohr.
Bohr: Sorry, I’ll do better next time.
Without missing a beat Bohr and Serug are in the same suits and positions - only now they have changed place back to the same window-side bench with an imposing view.
Serug: In that case, congratulations, you’ve got the job!
Bohr: Great. When do we start?
Serug: Start at the end, and when you get to the beginning, keep going.
Bohr: Got it. Well, until next time!